New Content Mondays

Welcome back everyone! We've missed you and are wishing many blessings upon your literary endeavors. As you can probably guess, it's that time of the week for us to fill you with all those lovely contents that are fresh from the basement of Whiskey Before Breakfast. I thought it might be appropriate this week to discuss writing since we've been on a pretty hard tear of book reviews.

Let me open up by saying something very important: You are all writers! Whether you scribble some words of poetry down on a napkin for that cute redhead that works at Starbucks or burn the midnight oil in order to crank out the next novel that will change the way the world sees corn soufflé, you are all writers. Now, the Muses may speak a little louder to some of you than others, but that's all right because we all have the ability to say something creative and worthwhile. There are too many variables to count when determining who's a serious writer and who just does it because they have to, but in my years of studying the craft, reading books and winning my fair share of contests, I've noticed one thing: those who call themselves writers live breathe and revel in the craft. This isn't to say that you need to cram your skulls with everything that's literature, but it should give you an idea of what it takes to be a writer.

Now, I want to break down this discussion in to two categories so I'm reaching all of you people out there. Yes, I'm talking to you, oh most timid reader who laughs and cries at our reviews, but cripples at the thought of actually asking us a question or two in our comments section. I'm calling you out, son! This post will be broken down into tips for both the serious writers and those who just don't want to look stupid on their next term paper. I've wavered in both camps and so I feel like I have some good authority to say something about them. Also, it's my blog. This could be a longer post than usual so sit back, pour yourself a cup of that bold Colombian coffee (the good stuff, none of that processed crap that's usually on sale) and let me caress your minds with some wisdom on writing.

For the Real Writers

I'm somewhat hesitant to dedicate this section to "real writers" because anyone who puts that ink to the pasty white paper is a writer (technically). But, for the sake of space and time I'll define these "real writers" as those who one day hope to make something of themselves off of words and wish to buy that nifty Raider's hat they've always wanted (just kidding, no one likes the Raiders). To begin this section let me take you back into the life of Zach Butler when I was just a wee lad of fifteen and had not a care in the world other than when Hey Arnold would be on television. I was introduced to the world of writing and stories by a close friend of mine at the time who currently works for a small video game review site last I heard. What I got out of a five hour hang out session with him, which consisted mostly of a conversation on writing and why he liked books when he was in high school, was that in order to be a decent writer I needed to start writing and do it damn near every day.

This sparked my interest and so I began writing. It didn't matter what I wrote either and that's what you need to understand. Write anything! Write a poem, a haiku, a sermon, a page, a song, an epic, a word, it doesn't matter, just write. When people ask me what I do for writing (yes, people actually ask me from time to time) I tell them I try to write 2,500 words a day. This is a tip I picked up from reading Stephen King's memoir/writing book, On Writing, which I recommend you all read at some point in your careers. Like working out or playing Call of Duty, in order to see any improvement in your craft you need to keep practicing and training so you can take it to those high school punks who say really inappropriate things about your mothers. Because that’s what writing is all about, telling high schoolers that they can’t do that. A really neat thing will begin to happen over time as you write and that is this: you'll start to see that 2,500 words is really nothing at all and you'll start writing 3,000 or 4,000 or even 7,000 words a day! Like with any habit, good or bad, the process becomes easier as you do it more.

There are hundreds of thousands of books out there that will tell you hundreds of thousands of ways to improve yourself as a writer or how to be published or how to drink coffee properly, but it really all boils down to one thing: write! It's in your title for goodness sake. Start small (you don't need to rewrite the Odyssey in Creole after all) and slowly progress towards bigger and better endeavors.

For the Everyday Writers

I think it's safe to say that most of our readers probably fall in to this category. These are the writers who only call themselves such when it's about two in the morning and they just remembered they have a research paper due at eight. Or, if you're like me, you realize this during your nine o' clock class and skip the rest of the day in order to turn that paper in under your teacher's door all incognito. For those of you who ride this struggle bus let it be known that you are in good company. Now, let's change that.

This section of the post shouldn't be taken as a "How To Improve Your Writing Skills" because every college/high school has a writing center where people get paid to tell you how to write (not necessarily better I might add). Since we don't get paid, I'm going to take a different approach and talk to you as one who loves literature and has seen the benefits of devoting one's self to the craft. I'm also not here to tell you that you need to become a bestselling novelist in order to pass your next Humanities Course paper (although, if you attended a certain school in Western Pennsylvania you might think otherwise).

For the everyday writer, literature and the actual process of writing is usually not the first thing on their mind. This is perfectly fine because there are far more important things to think about other than how you're going to kill your main character at the end of your novel with a pair of demon cursed chopsticks. Please, for the sake of your sanity and social life, go on thinking about whatever you think about! But, for those seeking to improve their writing, even in the slightest, take heed of my next sentence. A book, and I mean any book, is a monumental way to start improving your writing and vocabulary. Since we are no longer chained to our chairs in junior high and forced to take "Vocab Quizzes" we begin to take words and the scope of words we know for granted. When that begins to happen, our literary prowess begins to dampen and so we sit, wracking our brains for synonyms for the words "good" or "strong". I've found that the best way to expand your vocabulary and be able to throw down words like "clairvoyance" or "apotheosis" is to simply read.

I'm going to assume for a moment here that most of you reading this have a soft spot for literature, no matter how small or cramped that spot is. Why else would you be reading a blog on book reviews unless you just love reading our writing (which, we know, is pretty life-altering)? So, since I've caught you with your proverbial pants down I'm going to say this: read people! Read until your eyes wither from your sockets and fall to the ground like little plastic bags. Read till your brain misfires and you actual do think Tupac is alive and well in Mexico. Read until there is nothing left to read. And when you read, don't just read the words; see how the author constructs sentences, notice the pace and the rhythm at which they write, hear the voice they are writing in and begin to understand how to write. When you start reading like this you'll notice two things. One, you’ll actually enjoy and appreciate the work more than if you were just to process a story in your mind. Two, you'll start to see these techniques and concepts reflected in your own writing. I only see a win-win here.

Of course, you could go out and buy books and subscribe to websites and sit in conferences in order to hear and see thousands of other ways to become a better writer, but I think you'll start to see that it really comes down to the two things I had mentioned earlier: reading and writing. This post is really only laying the foundation for effective writing I understand, but we need to start somewhere right? Also, as writers, you've got to make time to do both reading and writing, especially if you ever want to take yourself seriously. Challenge yourself this week and try to write and read every day, even if it's only for a fleeting moment.

Okay, I'll step off the soapbox now. We needed to dust it off anyways, it's been sitting in the closet a while. Till next Monday/Tuesday!

-- Zach